Life , disappointment.

Yes! it's Monday tomorrow , another beginning of a week, a busy week.
ok..actually i got damn alot things to do, maybe that's also the reason why im blogging here,
atleast i have an official excuse to curi snake :P

ok..back in few days ago, when i was gymming, i start telling myself.
If i ever happen to have a girl who really take care of me, i would seriously treasure and appreciate her for my life. It's so hard to have someone who really bother and care of you.
When i was there alone, my mind start thinking again. What's happening is exactly not what i want
and what i want is not what exactly happening..oh well..EMO rite? but somehow i noe after the darkness get thru my life , the Light will be so soon to be seen! To have unlucky stuff happen, so u can see what's really lucky in life.

few days ago , was really damn emo , but now i guess im better alr..as soon as i found that life wasn't perfect. it's has too much of obstacle to get through, don be too naive for life, don't simply look for people who can accompany you for life..as in the end, u will absolutely be alone again.

ok..lets say..now i seeking for this kind of life, what if i achieve that life? is that i will be satisfy with what i will be having? or i will just go and seek for another better life than it?
oh well..i guess that's a little bit too much to think now

down days it were, a person , who slowly graded in my heart, slowly filled my mind, is now leaving me like left my world, and left my alone. How sad is it? i used to tell the person what's happening, and i thought i've finally found the 1? but life has ironically fooled me again, neglected what my feels will be. things were just dream, an illusion.

2nd time for my life , it would make me to be more clever when goes thru with such stuff again,
thanks god, thanks jesus for giving me such obstacle and hard times.
seriously i can't believe what had happened. Came , Talked , Communicated , Known, in the end i know nothing and i got nothing, it's just like a trap , to set me up and break me down , to build me up and tear me down. u filled my mind with ur shadows, and now u're leaving like the moon gotta leave when the sun is coming there..maybe im just that bad?

oh well..my vision and mission , to amuse others, then hide beside and cry alone
in the end, im just no different with my past , always a failure , always a fatty.
HAHA..i guess i've outta my mind in the few months, i thought i've changed, in the end. im just a clown. im not qualified to do anything. it's not my times , and my times will never be here.

Life , i love u so much seriously.