It's because the same thing again.

Hello , I'm here blogging again , and still from the same cause that caused me to blog here.
Yesterday was a good day , at least it was, until I've meet her again.
Marathon at 21st of Nov , 2010 .
it was my 1st time participate in the activity , a world-wide activity , global!
even with only 2 hours sleep for 2 days, but i seriously had lots of fun there... such a memorable day

everything was so good until i went to have my movie at Queensbay,
i don't know whether i was lucky or what..i saw her there..a person who i wished to see, between many people out there...it eventually drove my crazy , and i doesn't feel good at all..
i wished to see , but when i saw , i doesn't feel alright..was that wish just a motivation for myself?
or just another excuse for myself?

Finally i have my time to have a good rest , but it wasn't peace at all..everytime before i sleep, i will ask myself whether what happened in the day , and if it's a good day or no..
but when i asked myself what had happened today..i can't straightly tell it out..i don't know..
i seriously don't know..
after had 12 hours of sleeps , woke up with a damn depressed and stressed feel..i doesn't feel alright at all..im NOT........OMG...im just feel like collapsing..
why when things happened , i can't tell her , why when i need someone to talk to , i will never be able to talk to her.. she will never be my listener , never..
i don't know what i want , i don't know what i looking for , i don't know what is going on..
i have the feel of losing everything in the world again , it's the feel i been scaring of..
im sure im MAD..
i wanna chat , but who can i to? what to? and am i really want to chat? or i just don want myself to have the time to think?
im just fucking gone mad again..how can get rid of this?
i want this god damn feel get away from me..it makes my day down , i feel everythings goes wrong , my life has goes wrong as well , i need someone to talk to , but i don't even know who to talk to...................
FML seriously........